Italian: Questa è la traduzione in inglese della mia storia “E poi un giorno prometterò il mio amore eterno per te”
GENRE: SongFic, with a dash of Angst.
DISCLAIMERS: Any Johnny belongs to me, unfortunately.
PAIRING: Yamashita Tomohisa, Ikuta Toma ( TomaPi ), a splash of Tomohisa Yamashita, Ryo Nishikido.
NOTES: Written during the night.
This is the first fanfiction ever on this couple and this fandom.
SUMMARY: Yamapi sings Love Song, in Toma’s hometown and he thinks of him.
Of him and of his mistakes.
THANKS: The song that inspired me was Love Song, written by YamaPi.
Interview of Pi and Toma giving rise to this fanfiction.
Lu, my betareader.
Ally, who has read its in advance.
To both for giving me the courage to post it.
We were promised that we would be together forever
But our happy time together is over
Why did you leave that way?
Why you couldn’t believe it when I said that to me you were the most important person in the world?
It 'true, maybe not very good at expressing my feelings, I never have been, after all, but you knew that.
Fuck Toma, you know very well.
I shake my head trying to rid myself of these thoughts still crowd my mind, but how can I forget you?
How can I pretend that everything there was between us is only a dream, something ephemeral that will never return?
I can’t, and I will not do it.
Of course, between us has not happened much, it died before it could start all over: no kissing, nothing happened, but the memories that I preserve in the heart are still too strong and throb of your love for me, my love for you.
Perhaps I deceived myself that singing this song in your hometown, you can realize what I feel.
I was wrong, it's true ... that damn day, just a year ago, I committed the biggest mistake of my life that has influenced my entire life.
Oh, if I could go back as I did in that drama ... you remember when do you speak?
I couldn’t believe to be good in a role like that ... someone who goes back in the past because it has so many regrets: I've always been one who did what he believed to be more fair.
Well, I have no regrets.
In truth I don’t have anyone other than these, but not before as I told you I loved you.
Erroneously I believed and I still believe that you know how I feel about you, but singing this song, writing, putting my heart, I realized that it is not.
I’m a fool, I always thought you'd be with me forever, here beside me... right here, inside in my heart.
Showing a bright star shining on my way.
Only now I realize who I lost, what I lost.
I had never given granted for you Toma, sorry for that.
When children had invited you on a trip with my family and wanted to put our futon nearby neighbours, just side by side.
And the times that we had a bath together?
You often would tell me that you want to swim and this request that I could not agree, because it came from you, from my Toma.
Yes ... still smiles at the thought of myself shy he was covered to avoid being seen ... I was really embarrassed, but I enjoyed being with you, even in water, also naked.
Despite now I realize my mistake
I can’t do anything to erase
When I think of you, my heart aches for love
I can’t Toma, is really too painful to be able to accept.
When I think of you, to us, I can’t believe it's all done through my fault, because of myself.
Sorry, sorry Toma, sorry, sorry.
I know it's late now and you'll forget me, you've decided to cut from your life and I understand you, even if it hurts ... Toma, it's too bad.
Come back to me.
What a stupid, I know that you will not.
Do you remember?
When I received your message where you said you went on my set and you had seen me sleep, I did you could have written that I'd wake up, I really want to talk to you.
You told me I couldn't wake up you because you showed me a sleeping face and I smile so pure, that time I smiled with my whole being, because you were so sweet, because you were so damn sweet and you were by my side.
Over all, more than any other ... even if we were not close, you were there ... and I'll feel, feel your warmth, and then because now I can’t do?
Because I feel so damn cold in the chest?
Toma tell me why ... why!
I'm sorry not to have told you, I'm sorry I pretended nothing when you came to ask information, I regret not being able to open my heart.
I remember it like it was yesterday the damn day.
You, in front of me, my heart shattered.
I stand before you, with a smile on the face of circumstance.
Between us sheets of the newspaper, the sheets of the damned scandal and me Ryo.
And you, and your tears.
And I, and my smile.
Why? Give me a valid reason Pi, and I will believe. Just give me a reason and I'll do. We believe Pi, but ... explain. Explain, please.
I still remember my words, calm, quiet and too hard, was just what I had to do ... I had been so ordered, and orders can’t be deleted.
It was just a fanservice. Was for the fans. A gem to themselves. Our couple is famous on the Internet.
I remember your tears, I remember your heart beating crazy.
Pi. What I confess to you? Did you think of it, right? So ... Pi?
What I had confessed ... yes, a few days earlier you had revealed your love and I, like a fool, I told you that at that moment I did not have time to respond because I had to go to another engagement.
In truth, I did not want to admit my feelings, I just wanted to run away.
Toma, for me you are the most important person.
I don’t know if it was because of that fucking my smile, I don’t know if it is because he seemed to be playing a part, but you looked at me in disbelief and were to try to kiss me.
Unfortunately at that moment Ryo entered the room, you don’t see, but I could watch him because I was turned towards his own part and then, not to cause scandal, scansai me and I sighed with relief.
Because I was not ready Toma, I was not ready for that kiss, I was not ready to admit my feelings even to myself, let alone to you.
One sigh and my laugh, cool, because I should not betray anything.
Come on Toma. There aren't photographers. Don’t be jealous of my fanservice with Ryo. You know you always remain my favorite.
You ran away, I still remember you bend your back while you're away more and more, always more of me, forever.
If by chance we could meet again somewhere
And we had the chance to do it all again
I never left you go, no matter what happens
I finally realized there's nobody better than you
So you'd be at my side again ...?
Yes, if that scene could take place again, if I could go in there and do it all over again, doesn’t let you run, I'd tell you outright that I love you, I too, Toma.
But life is not a drama, and these things, unfortunately, can’t happen.
I was an idiot, because to preserve my pride, or whatever it was, I preferred to don’t do anything.
Because there was a spectator.
Because we were not alone.
Because I was not ready.
The truth is that I'm a coward and always have been: I preferred didn't change anything in my life because I afraid of what might happen between us.
We wouldn't have been more simple friends, but lovers, boyfriends ... well, it was difficult for me to accept that I wasn't heterosexual, but I loved a man, you.
You may didn't believe me when I say that I thought of you often ... more often these days, because he really understands the value of a person only when you lose and I've discovered this on my skin with a price.
Please, give me another chance, I swear that this time will be different, I swear that this time I won’t be a fool.
I swear that this time be able to get out of my shell and to confess my feelings.
Who am I kidding?
Although singing this damn song, even if the whole world may well understand that I have written for you, you don’t return.
Not because they understand that is dedicated to you, but why not just listening.
Now I'm dead for you, right?
I'm really good at the idiot who doesn’t understand her feelings ... maybe that's why I felt so good in the role of Ken *.
It’s difficult to think about what we did together because I feel my heart breaking piece by piece and serves me right, is the just punishment for what they are able to ask you.
Baka **, I’m just a baka.
His perpetual perfection is compatible with my personality.
I say this during an interview and I can only confirm the words of a few years ago.
You are the perfect Toma, in everything you do, every word you say, every act I perform, in all your being.
I'm just an idiot because I didn’t understand before.
When I was next to Toma, I felt safe.
And damn if it's true... now that you're away I can do is take my arms and squeeze the chest alone, hoping that it can get warm, but not really like being hugged by someone.
How to be embraced by you.
When I looked the courtyard out the window , I saw the shirt wore by Yamashita on which was written "Ikuta".
Yes, that time forgot my uniform for physical education, I wanted absolutely your, only your.
Then I said I was because we had the same size, but it isn't... now I realize that.
It was because your shirt, your uniform, was pervaded by your scent from your warm and this comforted me, made me feel safe.
Why do I with you I felt protected.
You hold me
For all the love that we missed while we were away
Would you forgive me for being selfish ..?
You forgive me for thinking only of my feelings, my fear at that moment?
You forgive me for being so fucking selfish?
Ryo doesn’t know anything about what happened between us, but he understood that something comes and goes every day to my house to make sure I eat something.
He sees me depressed and scared because he thinks he can do something stupid, like let me die of hunger.
Now that I have nothing to lose, what has my life?
Nothing, absolutely nothing.
I don’t mind being more famous or not, now I know I can no longer call you hear laughter, to hear how you congratulate me.
It hurts Toma ... damn, I can’t breathe because I can’t do now that you're so damn far, and not only about physical presence.
Even if you were in my own room, I feel the chill that has been created between us, to feel how much you're away, feel how much you hate me for what I did and yes, I understand.
I also hate.
I hate myself so much.
Yes, I would be able to let myself die of hunger if this serves to bring you to me, but I will not do that and so I try to eat regularly.
Our seats were always close.
And instead we are now so far away, separated by a barrier of ice that I created myself.
Damn, I love you so much.
If I could have them back here, I shake so hard not to let her breathe, because I love you and I don’t want you away from me, not anymore.
I don’t care what others may think, this is not a matter that concerns them, right?
Concerns only two of us.
...But who am I kidding?
I'm here, to see how it could be otherwise, when I know that now there is nothing to do.
The action I did was stupid, it was a mistake, but now I can’t go back.
I can’t change anything and you will continue to hate me.
Again, and Again, and Again, and again.
And I can’t do it.
Not take it anymore.
I would say goodbye to everything, because if you're not here with me, then nothing has meaning.
I finally realized that there is nobody better than you
So would you'be at my side again ...?
Just... I give up hope, my heart bleeds more and more.
And now it makes me strange twist of fate ... I hear your voice, just as if you were behind me at this time.
Pi, the song... it was for me? For us?
Oh God, it wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
You are here, near me, I have been given a second chance and this time the exploit to the fullest.
Yes I love you, Toma. I really love you.
Look at me and I know I don’t believe me and now Ryo enter.
Always and definitely in the wrong time.
You watch him and you know that now I will not say anything, right?
But I can’t pass up this opportunity.
I go over and I kiss you by staying close to me and... oh, I'm so well.
It seems that our two bodies are made to fit together, to remain united in this way, forever.
I love you. Doesn’t matter if others know, I don’t care about anything. Toma, I can’t stay away from you. I'm dying inside. I feel an emptiness right here ...
I'll put his hand on my chest and you can hear the heart beating.
I love you too Pi.
And Ryo smiles, as if he always knew everything.
There you put in time.
Bastard, you don’t realize what I have suffered for my lack of decision.
I love you Toma
And then one day I promise eternal love for you
* The protagonist of Proposal Daisakusen, played precisely by Tomohisa Yamashita.
** “Stupid” in Japanese.
The song Love Song of Yamashita Tomohisa, in the text with a translation into English was really sung only once by the boy, and when he was in Toma’s hometown.
All the memories of their youth spent together are taken from interviews of the two singers really exist, because nothing is invented, except of course the fact that the two love one another.
With this story I wouldn't give the true picture of the two singers in love.
Images scandals Tomohisa and Ryo don’t really exist.